...

You are angry.

But you cannot be.

There are reasons why.

So you focus the anger on yourself.
It eats you up.
Its not a good feeling.
So you try to dispose of it.
You punch the wall with your bare fist.
It hurts.
The anger is still there.
You are still angry at yourself.
So you do it again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
You divert your anger to control the pain.
You repeat until pain now overwhelms you.

You lean on the wall you were punching.
You see that your right hand is red.
You slide down and take a seat.
You are now slumped on the cold hard floor.
Its not comfortable but you dont care.

A new emotion comes in.
But the anger isnt gone.
Its just driven deep inside of you.
You are now trying to stop yourself from crying.
You cannot stop it.
So you just let it be.
You feel hurt and pain.
But not from punching the wall.
This is more severe than physical pain.

This is where you question yourself.
This is where you doubt yourself.
This is where you just stop caring.
This is where you will entertain certain ideas.
This is where you will choose.