Initially, I was of course, surprised at her decision to study abroad. There were many schools that she can enroll in for that locally. But I really didn't argue with her about it. My first worry was about her being so far away. My second was if I can handle her being away for so long.
But I supported her decision. If she had an opportunity to hone her skill in a better school overseas then it was a very good chance for her. She did tell me that if I wanted her to stay that she'll stay. I dunno if she knows [but she prolly did] but I really wanted her to stay really bad. I really wanted to be selfish and tell her not to go...that she can find something that won't cost alot.
I didn't. As mentioned above, I supported her decision...and it killed me everyday. Even moreso when the time for her to go was near.
I am not regretting my decision to her go abroad. I am happy that she was finally there [as of this morning] and is ready to start her journey to become the best she can be. For that, I am extremely proud of her.
Then again, alot of people might ask why I chose to let her go abroad if I really didn't want to in the first place? Why did you choose to let her go if o'll be sad and depressed about it?
I didn't want to be someone that didn't support the dream of someone I love. I don't want her to regret not grasping the opportunity that was given. I would want her to have the chance to chase her dream and if possible, for her to achieve it.
Sure, i'll be sad, miserable and depressed but I know in the end it will be all worth it.
Some people have said that it's just the first few days and that i'll get used to it. But I don't want to get used to my girlfriend being gone. I don't want to get used to the fact that I won't be able to hug her, hold her hand, tell her jokes..and just plain be with her. It sounds a bit masochistic but I want to be sad and miserable and depressed because it fully solidifies the fact that everything is okay when she's around and with me. It makes me realize how wonderful it is to have her around with me.
...but I know it'll be well worth it.
Batten down the hatches! Hoist them sails! We're in for a wild ride!
- the alansong -