Last night, I had another dream that had my exgf (the one thats in AU). TBH shes the only ex that shows up in my dreams. Im not really sure why. Its prolly my subconcious telling me something. We were in correspondence a few years ago. Nothing serious, just conversations you'd make between friends. ive made peace that what happened between us just happened. Things wouldnt have changed anyway so its an "it is what it is" kind of thing. She eventually stopped reaching out and replying so I also did. I expected it anyway and id rather not shoehorn myself in their life that I wasnt supposed to be a part of, I just hope she's doing okay,
Altho..I do still talk to her in some sort of way but its also not her...sort of. Its just a ghost of her. Not a literal ghost mind you. Its not as much of an actual ghost even but just memories of the person that still linger. I feel like most people have these kinds of ghosts.
Ive had alot of talks with her ghost since the breakup years ago. It started with just asking it why. Of course it couldnt answer. Its just a memory of her from what she was during our time together. It wouldnt have any idea of what her current self is thinking or why she did what she did. I still kept asking until I stopped. Her ghost wasnt a constant phenomenon. It usual appears when I suddenly remember things about her, about us. Something will trigger it, like a song or a place or food. Sometime I would catch myself saying "she wouldve loved this.". I shrug it off and and just smile.
We all have a ghost of someone lingering around. Its not always a bad thing.
