A few nights ago. I was talking with a friend of mine. I opened up to her as to how I'm not that much a nice person that she sees me to be. As well as how I'm not that as happy as I look.
It was apparent how she got a bit frustrated on my stubbornness on things. As well as my pessimistic outlook. I told her that I've accepted the fact that things wont work out well for me and that it probably never will.
Explaining to someone how you're happy but not "happy" happy is a bit hard. Kinda like saying you're okay but not okay. Like just somewhere in the middle. It's not really a definite answer but it sort of explains how things are. As vague as it is.
It's not that I don't feel happy when something good happens or I don't feel happy when I see my nephew or I don't feel happy when the shop has a good day. It's just that. It's not the kind of happy that sticks. It's weird, I know, but that's how it feels. I know it probably confused my friend on how and why I feel like this even though she sees me all smiles and laughs when she visits the shop. But I think she understood, though I think she'd prefer me to at least try a little. I think friends who knows what's going on with me would also like that too.
I think I've already mentioned in a previous post that "Just existing" would be okay for me. It's just how it is. Until the day comes when i'd really feel happy...or not.
Sunday, August 14, 2016
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
And so, an update.
So..update I guess plus a couple of movie mini-reviews.
I got really sick a few weeks back thanks to a sore throat and getting drenched in the rain and had to walk thru a little bit of flood. Dealing with getting sick as an adult sucks but I got through it. It took awhile before the coughing stopped but now im a bit wary of the weather. Its been either too hot and too cold and wet. Thats a good recipe for getting sick. I guess Im not as immune as I was a few years back.
Ah, I guess I forgot to mention it last time. But an uncle of mine died a few months ago. He was my moms' older brother and they were close. He was a good man. He always had a welcoming smile during the last few times we saw him. He always made sure everyone had something to eat or drink or is comfortable. He died of a heart attack. He was still young and for me, he was healthy. So it was all a sudden surprise things happened the way they happened.
Now a few months after, A close family friend of my aunt died of a heart attack too. He was also a good man. He was their driver for a few years. He had pneumonia and had complications that led to a heart attack. So it kinda rung a few alarms with my aunt and her mom (my other granma) so they asked how my health was doing and if i had pneumonia shots before..or something to that effect.
To be honest...with the way things went/are prolly going. Im kinda surprised I havent had an attack...or a mild stroke even.
Anyway.
I managed to watch two great films almost a week apart. Star Trek Beyond and Suicide Squad.
For Star Trek Beyond, well first off. Ive been always more of a Star Wars fan. But Ive loved the Star Trek movies, both new and old. I liked a few original ST episodes and TNG, as well as DS9. Now, the first two new movies were pretty great. It introduced new people to a new Star Trek Universe. The new film continues where Into Darkness left off. But rather than pulse pounding ship to ship action. This one had more feelings. It introduced a way different villain than whatever the crew has encountered before. It did have a few awesome ship action. It did contain a few funny scenes to balance things. I was a bit distracted everytime Anton was in a scene. It was weird that in some scenes he was in. It was like he was always trying to woo the alien females haha...i dunno. Maybe it was just me. The whole plot wasnt really that much grandiose. It seemed like a usual story plot with a few twists. But even with that, it was a fun sci-fi movie. Although it felt a bit lacking for me in the end. I mean it wouldve been nice to set-up the follow-up film haha.
For Suicide Squad. I have some knowledge of the team via a few comics ive read and episodes of JL Animated Series, as well as their animated movie. The reviews didnt really matter to me. I still wanted to watch the movie and see for myself what the hullabaloo was all about. It had a nice story. Though sometimes it felt like you were watching just scenes mashed in together. I had my doubts with Will Smith being casted as Deadshot. But he was pretty great. Cara was just sublime. I liked her more than Margot Robbie. I agree with a friend of mine that we needed more Captain Boomerang. Like more boomeranging with a diverse array of boomerangs like a sticky bomb boomerang. Like trick boomerangs of every sort. I dunno why they depicted him as someone off his rocker. He was a pretty laid back dude in the comics. They couldve just made him just a teeny bit crazy. They couldve explained how Katana got included in the team rather than just showing up. The Joker's presence also felt like that. Sure its not his movie, but they hyped him so much only to just turn out like a cameo. I think we need a full length movie where he's the main baddie to fully appreciate Jared Leto's Joker. I liked it. It was something old and new at the same time. Im kinda leaning into the theory that he is Jason Todd. I mean its a nice theory. But anyway yea, the film was pretty nice. It didnt feel like an R-13 movie though. I mean Rambo (the more recent one) had more blood and gore and curse words in it. If theyre going to do another one, I hope they just let it be and not do stuff that would ruin the film (like reshoots and changing things to please people).
Both are great movies to watch. Try catching them if you have the time.
I got really sick a few weeks back thanks to a sore throat and getting drenched in the rain and had to walk thru a little bit of flood. Dealing with getting sick as an adult sucks but I got through it. It took awhile before the coughing stopped but now im a bit wary of the weather. Its been either too hot and too cold and wet. Thats a good recipe for getting sick. I guess Im not as immune as I was a few years back.
Ah, I guess I forgot to mention it last time. But an uncle of mine died a few months ago. He was my moms' older brother and they were close. He was a good man. He always had a welcoming smile during the last few times we saw him. He always made sure everyone had something to eat or drink or is comfortable. He died of a heart attack. He was still young and for me, he was healthy. So it was all a sudden surprise things happened the way they happened.
Now a few months after, A close family friend of my aunt died of a heart attack too. He was also a good man. He was their driver for a few years. He had pneumonia and had complications that led to a heart attack. So it kinda rung a few alarms with my aunt and her mom (my other granma) so they asked how my health was doing and if i had pneumonia shots before..or something to that effect.
To be honest...with the way things went/are prolly going. Im kinda surprised I havent had an attack...or a mild stroke even.
Anyway.
I managed to watch two great films almost a week apart. Star Trek Beyond and Suicide Squad.
For Star Trek Beyond, well first off. Ive been always more of a Star Wars fan. But Ive loved the Star Trek movies, both new and old. I liked a few original ST episodes and TNG, as well as DS9. Now, the first two new movies were pretty great. It introduced new people to a new Star Trek Universe. The new film continues where Into Darkness left off. But rather than pulse pounding ship to ship action. This one had more feelings. It introduced a way different villain than whatever the crew has encountered before. It did have a few awesome ship action. It did contain a few funny scenes to balance things. I was a bit distracted everytime Anton was in a scene. It was weird that in some scenes he was in. It was like he was always trying to woo the alien females haha...i dunno. Maybe it was just me. The whole plot wasnt really that much grandiose. It seemed like a usual story plot with a few twists. But even with that, it was a fun sci-fi movie. Although it felt a bit lacking for me in the end. I mean it wouldve been nice to set-up the follow-up film haha.
For Suicide Squad. I have some knowledge of the team via a few comics ive read and episodes of JL Animated Series, as well as their animated movie. The reviews didnt really matter to me. I still wanted to watch the movie and see for myself what the hullabaloo was all about. It had a nice story. Though sometimes it felt like you were watching just scenes mashed in together. I had my doubts with Will Smith being casted as Deadshot. But he was pretty great. Cara was just sublime. I liked her more than Margot Robbie. I agree with a friend of mine that we needed more Captain Boomerang. Like more boomeranging with a diverse array of boomerangs like a sticky bomb boomerang. Like trick boomerangs of every sort. I dunno why they depicted him as someone off his rocker. He was a pretty laid back dude in the comics. They couldve just made him just a teeny bit crazy. They couldve explained how Katana got included in the team rather than just showing up. The Joker's presence also felt like that. Sure its not his movie, but they hyped him so much only to just turn out like a cameo. I think we need a full length movie where he's the main baddie to fully appreciate Jared Leto's Joker. I liked it. It was something old and new at the same time. Im kinda leaning into the theory that he is Jason Todd. I mean its a nice theory. But anyway yea, the film was pretty nice. It didnt feel like an R-13 movie though. I mean Rambo (the more recent one) had more blood and gore and curse words in it. If theyre going to do another one, I hope they just let it be and not do stuff that would ruin the film (like reshoots and changing things to please people).
Both are great movies to watch. Try catching them if you have the time.
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