This wasn't how envisioned how things will be when I turn 30.
I thought that i'd have a stable job at someplace nice. I thought i'd be married or engaged. I thought Wiya would still be there to cook me my 30th bday spaghetti.
But as it was made evident to me months ago. Things change. People change. Everything changes.
Age is just a number.
I think that proves true for me since obviously I don't act my age. But it isn't an indicator that I'm not serious. I can be when needed...when I want to. But I'm just not that kind of guy.
Then again..being 30 makes you think.
That I am not that young anymore. And that most men in the family don't reach their late 40's [Dad died in his mid-30s and his brother, my uncle, died around his mid-40s].
Will I suffer the same fate?
I don't really know what's the next step for me now.
Sure, I have my options..both have their pros and cons. But I'm still at a loss.
These are the times when Wiya will talk me through what to do next. But she's gone.
Most of my loved people have either gone and /or left me.
That's how being 30 feels like to me.