New Year

Happy New Year.

2013 finally over and a new year rolls in.

I still carry some baggage I received in 2013 but they're not as heavy.

This was the first new year we celebrated just by ourselves [me, my bro and my granma]. We just prepared food and ate and that's it. We didn't even make noise or shoot fireworks. But it's okay. I guess just surviving the year was more than enough.

I really don't do new year's resolutions but this year I promised myself and a few relatives that i'll be cutting down my weight. Which meant going back running again in the morning and going on a diet.

To be honest, I cannot like I used to because of my condition but for the past few days of the new year I was just walking. And the diet? UGH hardest thing to do...at least for me.

I'm not doing all these things just to look thin and great. I'm doing these things because it's what I should have been doing all along ever since I got out of the hospital a few years ago. It's a health thing...not a vain thing.

I was really hoping that this 2014, things will get better and be a bit different. Well, so far so good still it's not been a week yet and there has been already a few hiccups but it's still manageable. Despite that, I'm still hoping, wishing, dreaming that 2014 will be more kind to me [and of course to my family as well]. If you've been reading my past entries, 2013 was really such..well to say it in one word: heart-breaking.

But I'm still here, I'm still alive. Broken. Incomplete. Shaken. But alive.

So that means there are things still needed from me.

But it's just the whole mucking thru life trying to find meaning and purpose is really tiring. It would be a bit better if you have a little help in discovering what you're here for. Maybe this year, I can finally find my real purpose.

I'm a bit optimistic, which is not really my forte, but what else can I do but live..or at least try living.

So.

Happy 2014 to everyone!

Hopefully your lives have been better than mine.