Valentines.

It gives me an excuse to drink.

Happy Valentines Day to everyone else then. Me and Allan sincerely hope you are enjoying today happily.

The Catastrophic History of You & Me.

It was a very good read.

If you've had you're heart broken, then you can connect with the story...or the character's feelings.

Either way it's an enjoyable trip of all those feelings/emotions you have when someone you hold dear decides to just go.

But it also teaches that everything...and everyone has their reasons for doing things...whether or not they tell you ..or not.

EDIT:

Some quotes I liked in the book.

~ “my heart didn't fail, someone failed my heart.”

~ “Turns out, hell's not so much a burning, scalding pit of fire and misery. It's actually much, much worse than that. Hell is when the people you love the most reach right into your soul and rip it out of you. And they do it because they can.”

~ “The problem is, there is absolutely nothing "fun" about falling in love. Nope. Mostly it just makes you feel sick and crazy and anxious and nervous that it's going to end miserably and ruin your whole life. And guess what: Then it does.”

~ “Sometimes, remembering hurts too much.”

~ “But the sort of sucky thing is, time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds. Sometimes, it just makes the wounds worse.”

~ “All of a sudden I felt invisible. Forgotten. Like the universe had played a really mean practical joke on me, even though I've never done anything to deserve it.”

~ “You did love me,' I whispered. 'Just not the same way I loved you.'

Failure.

I have been seeing how my beautiful granma deteriorates with each passing day and it pains me on how I can do nothing but watch.

It makes me feel like such a failure.

As I sit alone in my room..My mind goes blank and is suddenly filled with thoughts and feelings...I am reminded how much of a failure I have been.

I failed to get into schools that my parents and family wanted on two occasions. [Highschool and College]

I have failed to live to the expectations my parents have of me.

I have failed numerous people..friends, relatives ...be it broken promises or lies or just me being such an asshole.

I have failed to stick to the diet I was given to help me with my condition..

..and I have also failed to drink my maintenance meds..in fact there were months where I didn't drink any of them at all.

I have failed in finding any kind of regularity in terms of occupation.

I have failed in saving and maintaining the only good relationship I've had.

I am so close to failing and breaking my "I don't smoke anymore" promise.

Everything that has been happening has been out of my hands lately. It's so uncontrollable. The only thing I can do is just sit and watch. Grin and bear it.

Nothing makes sense.

Even dulling my senses with a drink doesn't help anymore. I guess I am also a failure at that as well.