The New Year post

 So...2021 was more or less the same as 2020. The pandemic was still here but was finally able to get vaccinated and felt safe until another variant came and booster shots were needed. Things have already been bad and it felt like the worse is coming. I mean I havent even talked about how much of a shitty clown show the upcoming elections for my country is having.

2021 also had its fair share of surprises. I think the most surprising one was being able to sort of reconnect with someone I never thought I'd hear from again. For a time, I thought I'd be getting a bit of closure but eventually I realized that wasn't the case. I also realized that it won't matter because its been years and it won't feel that genuine. It'll be like just saying it for the sake of just saying it. I was surprised that I was the sort of...told to say what I wanted to say, I mean I thought Ive already did that with all the posts about it here. I still said my piece and I feel that that'll be the last time I'll hear from her ever again and that's fine and that's okay.

I'm pretty much relieved that nothing big happened to me healthwise this year. There wasn't a hospital trip or any scares especially with covid running rampant. I had/have a big fear of prolly getting it because that's how my luck usually goes. I hope that continues to be the case for the new year. I also hope that I didn't just jinx it lol

I can't say the same mentally though. It's been getting harder and harder to get up in the morning. When the shop was still open, I at least had a reason to push myself off and get up. Lately, I'd just rather stay in bed the whole day. The bed just sinks me in deeper and deeper. I dunno if this is part of an underlying issue or not. I've also been crying alot at little things lately. If something tugs at my heartstrings then the waterworks come out. Be it from an anime, western show, a movie, or a manga. I mean I've always been easy to get teary-eyed buts just more prevalent lately. Well..

Anyhoo, we managed to open the shop again albeit just for 9 months and 3 days a week. The covid restrictions made it hard for the shop to function like it was before but that just wasn't the only thing. We moved one floor up to a much smaller place than before and there wasn't a kitchen so we couldn't generate additional income. The product restock was slower than usual and that left me dumbfounded then again there wasn't much income being generated so it was hard to just dish out money that didn't come out form the shops income. We closed indefinitely until face to face will be viable again just after 9 months of being open. Sad that it wasn't possible to just stretch it out a little bit until the end of the year (no xmas bonus lol). It it what it is. I'm still trying to figure out what not do next but im totally clueless. I do have a few things in mind but...I dunno, it's just hard to put into action with how the state of everything is.

Things weren't all bad. I was still lucky enough to have people, friends still being there for me despite everything. I do feel guilty receiving alot from them and not be able to give back for their generosity and such, I do hope i am able to someday. Vtubers have also been part of my daily life. I am thankful for their existence as my loneliness and boredom disappears when I watch them. 

I don't know what this year will be like for me. I do hope that it'll be more better.

I'm not really sure who has been reading/viewing my posts but I do appreciate it. I'm happy that people has spent their precious time reading my nonsensical ramblings. Thank you.

Happy New Year!