Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Revelations v2

I didn't expect it. But out of the blue, she came out of the woodwork and started talking to me.

...and then she proceeded to tell me the things I needed to hear almost a year and two months ago.

But now knowing the all just makes me feel so worse.

It's...just so unfair. Everything feels so fucking unfair.

I don't regret the fact that I did let her order to chase her dream in another country. I am proud to say that I was very supportive. But how the whole thing ended up, it seems just so one-sided. That she suddenly changed into something so drastic, that she decided that of all the other people that shouldn't be part of her future....I was it. That I was the expandable one. Im not conceited enough to think that I shouldn't be expendable but I just thought that with all the things we went through together, I thought I'd be the last one on that expendable list.

I have been at my best behavior. I have been good. And yet, somehow, life fucks me up. That when I thought I have found something beautiful and permanent, life just fucks me up and screws me over with this.

It makes me feel so worthless.

It's 4am (where she is) and she's prolly sound asleep. It's 2am where I am and I'm wide awake, tears in my eyes, cursing my fate.

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