A bit of Freedom..

My follow-up 2D Echo was a few days ago, prior to that I was a bit anxious about it. I've been on a diet on both food [restricted to Fish, lean and white meat, of course veggies UGH] and water [restricted to 2 Liters a day], I haven't been doing anything that strenuous and been taking tons of medication/pills. Basically, I've been sort of a House Hermit, mostly keeping meself at home so that when the time comes for the follow-up it will hopefully how an improvement.

A 2D Echo is like [or prolly is the same thing] an Ultrasound machine, it shows them my heart as it is beating and it allows you to hear your heartbeat. When the follow-up came, I didn't know if whatever I did to try and get better actually worked. Alot of things came into mind...*what if it's still the same?*...*what if it got worse?!*. It's hard not to think about those things especially if you tend to be a little pessimistic like me.

So when they were checking my heart, I was anxious hearing about the small talk my Doctor and the tech was doing. Mostly, I heard that there was a bit of an improvement though nothing big or drastic. I was praying that they wouldn't find anything bad as I would like to go back living my "normal" life again. It took a bit long but I felt relieved when it was done and over with. My doctor talked to me a bit and he said that just by looking at it awhile back, it was definitely a good sign of improvement. But still they need to really check and they need to give the results to my Cardio who will give me his findings on Monday. He then said that I still need to take my medication along with the diet and such.

Leaving the hospital was a breathe of fresh air. My Mum and Granmum was a bit relieved to hear the news. I just need to wait a few more days before getting back on track. Mum was also giving me a bit of room to move as she allowed me to go to the nearby mall with my siblings. I was able to catch Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides and even Kung-Fu Panda 2 which were both awesome films. Also, after a month of not being able to pursue my toy hobby, it kind of got jump started as I purchased a Winter Soldier and Crossbones figure from the Captain America Movie Toyline from said malls toy section. But I tried my best not to over-exert meself. These were first days of a little bit of freedom in a month and I didn't want it to get ruined by getting more sick or worse.

Luckily, I didn't and I enjoyed that few days of freedom unfortunately I lacked funds to really enjoy those days [for toys and food and books LOL] but one thing at a time eh?


Adventuring a bit, Huzzah!
- the alansong -

Missing out...

Well, with being sick and confined first at the Hospital and then at home [currently at 2 weeks and 5 days] you're bound to miss alot of stuff...like I am.

I miss the office and the fun people there. The joking around, the GY shift *lunch* at 2am [or 3am], endless Trolling and LoL-ing and of course, the wonderful weekends. It's a bit sad when I heard about news of people leaving and people gone when I get the chance to come back but I guess thats how it goes.

I miss my toy-collecting hobby. I've will miss [or already have missed] new toy arrivals/distributions and toy conventions. Then again, if I did have a chance ti go to at least one, I prolly won't have the money to fund any toy acquisitions i'll prolly have. Bummer :/

I still dunno the exact date for my eventual return to Manila and work so i'm afraid that me and my girlfriend will miss celebrating our one year anniversary on time. But because of the uncertainty, I got her an anniversary present early. I gave it to her last weekend when she visited and she liked it very much and was pretty much understanding of our situation. I still have a few surprises though. :D

I miss my stuff over in Manila. The sense of familiarity and comfort, not that it's not familiar and comforting where I am now. It's just that most of my stuff is there and I'd rather use my own PC and be able to fiddle around with my action figures during my recovery process. Although I don't want them [my stuff] brought here in Pampanga because it'll be a hell of a trip back to Manila carrying all my things.

I miss going to the beach or any other activity that has been lined up and/or planned up. :[

Hopefully, all these sacrifices will lead to something good and will also lead my health into a better state.



Itching to go on an Adventure
- the alansong -

At least...some Good News..

Yesterday and today, I met with my Doctor and my Cardiologist and both visits proved to be good. Both said that I have progressed and has been faring better since their initial findings almost two weeks ago.

Unfortunately, my doctor still needed me to rest for a month and my cardio still prohibits me to do strenous things...even jog at the morning [he did suggest a brisk 30min. walk]. So it'll be another month of boredom, wish I had my figures here with me so I can take pictures.

But my cardio said, I can "roam" around now. Which means, I can go malling and watch movies...unfortunately, since I haven't been working, I don't have the funds to do so.

I feel fine but my doctors and Mom want to make sure that i'll be 100% so that we all can avoid a possible relapse....or a full blown stroke. I wouldn't want that to happen but it sucks that I can't work and earn. It can help Mom with my medicine and other fees with regards to my situation. It would also alleviate my boredom and/or allow me to go back into my ToyCollecting hobby. But i'll miss alot of toy-related events due to this which really sucks big time.

Then again, at least, I am closer to getting a clean bill of health. Even if there are alot of things i'll be missing/I have missed, I think it's best for me to just wait it out rather than go forth not fully recovered and get into more trouble than I already am.

Now to find that silver lining.....


Almost ready for some adventuring...
- the alansong -

Struggling

It's not almost a week and i'm struggling with all of the restrictions i've been given....i'm already breaking a few by walking outside my room, being online and playing PSP for hours but believe you me when I say that I was bored.

I am supposed to stay in my room for a week and not do anything. Good for me that me and me bro share rooms and he has his Mac and laptop and we have wi-fi. So more or less, boredom is mostly done away. To avoid being stir-crazy in me own room, I sometimes roam the house. Checking on things, checking on the kids.

Another restriction is my diet. This diet was not born out of vanity and obsession like everyone else's. It was born out of keeping meself alive. In retrospect, I am overweight and its putting harm on my heart and body. And all i've eaten for the past days were nothing but fish and cereals [the common ones, not the diet and fit ones...i still love my koko krunch] and various bread and cookies.

It's a far cry from all the things i'm used to eating...and as some of my friends have noticed/watched...I do eat alot and abit unhealthy.

But i'm still keeping to the diet and restrictions albeit with a little leeway. I mean, i'm not skimping on the diet, i'm sticking to that. I don't want to be dead by 30. Leeway meant my freedom of movement inside the house. As long as I don't do shit, I can roam the house outta boredom.

I didn't really try to make myself look good for other people. I liked the way I was...more or less. Hence I wasn't really paying attention to what I was eating and/or doing. I'm not that vain unless I needed to be and I said to meself that if people liked me even though I was a slob then they're being truthful. But more or less, the people who told me to cut down seemed to be more of the concerned friends than the rest.

Then again, if this is what's needed for me to live on and bug the hell out of you people...then so be it.

Adventuring has ceased...at least for the time being...
- the alansong -

Unexpected Derailment

WARNING: this post may be a bit long and you may go TL:DR

Anyhoo, just after Holy Week, i've been experiencing diffuclty breathing. In a sense that I seem to be outta breath after doing things I do normally, on a day-today basis. Like going from the bus stop to the office, of course with my size, I expect a bit o' sweat but lately i've been outta breath as I ventured the road always travelled. That surprised me as this never happened before but I dismissed it due to the heat and a bit of weight gain.

The next few nights, it was still the same...and prolly was getting a bit worse. When my restday came, I couldn't get decent sleep due to me trying to catch my breath. Puffing and heaving, I still tried to dismiss the fact there's something wrong. When I couldn't stand it anymore, I told me granmum that I might have re-activated my asthma. She then talked with me Mum and asked me to go visit a cardio which we did albeit unwillingly. We then found out thru Xray that my lungs were congested with phlegm and the doc gave me meds and asked me to take a few tests.

Those tests didn't push through as I texted me Mum saying I want to be taken care of @ home, in Angeles. As me granmum can't really look after me due to her being old and that her house isn't that much er...clean. So me bro picked me up in his car and as we travelled to Pampanga with the windows down, I felt a bit lighter and slept liked a baby. When I awoke, we were already parked nearby AUF Hospital [Angeles University Foundation] which was kinda like Angeles' version of St. Luke's. We met up with me Mum and then we met up with a doctor she knew.

Doctor Sibal was nice and surprised at my condition [after explaining to him how I felt]. He then said that I had Pneumonia and the congestion in my lungs was weird since it's something else. Both he and me Mum said and agreed for me being admitted into AUF after a slew of tests.

I never really liked being in hospitals.

Xray's, 2D Echo tests and a whole lotta blood extractions later, I was in a private room. Then came Dr. Sibal telling me about the results of my 2D Echo test and that he talked about it with a Cardiologist [ who was going to be my doctor as well], Dr. De Guzman. Both said that due to the complications, my heart was affected and weakened. It wasn't pumping blood as hard as before and to compensate for that it began to pump faster than normal. In order to monitor me more sufficiently, they advised that I go to the ICU and have a heart monitor setup.

Minutes later, I was in the ICU. I was the youngest there. Again there were a slew of blood extractions for tests. The Nurses and Doctors there were asking me why I was there and I gave them the same reply. I was there for 2 days and 3 nights, bored outta my wits. I kept thinking about how I lost two dads in a hospital, how I was being a burden to me family as the hospital bills was sure sure to balloon. I was helpless. I couldn't bear the fact that because of me, me family will be going thru another financial dip. It was a bit depressing.

Visits from my bestfriend and my girlfriend brightened my days in the ICU. Didn't think my bestfriend would come visit as I thought she was a bit scared of the ICU due to the past experience with her dad. My girlfriend's visits, even though it didn't look like it, were the ones that helped me keep my sanity and help me get better. After 3 days, I was told I was getting better and thus I was returned to a Private Room.

Although the room had cable tv, it was still boring but I did feel alot better at the time. I still drank alot of pills and my water was being held to only 1.5ml's a day. That would still continue as both my doctors told me prior to my "release". It really wasn't long till tehy told me I was ok to go out of the hospital, I was glad as that meant the hospital bills will cease.I was relieved that some tests they did came out negative and that my HMO held-up their end of the deal and shouldered most of the bill.

The doctors then proceeded to tell me things I should do, things I shouldn't, things i need to drink and didn't and then go back after a week and see them for a follow-up. After that, I was on my way home [not after visiting a barbershop first]. The heat got to me first as it was really a hot summer. I was tol by me Mum that i'll be just "staying" inside the confines of me room. "Trapped" is more of a right term but then it is needed. Good thing we have a pc and laptop I could use to overcome boredom.

I then reflected upon the things that needed attention. I'll be most likely off work for more than a month and with that, no income. I'll be again, a burden to my family and girlfriend even if they tell me I'm not. I just can't shake the feeling that I am. But what else must I do? Shit has already happened and most plans has been put on hold. All I need to do now is rest and hope for the best.

Adventuring has ceased...at least for the time being...
- the alansong -